Last night I was watching “Sofia the First” with our 3 year old daughter and 22 month old son (yes, he loves “Fia” just as much as his sister!). One of the characters, Amber, who is Sofia’s step-sister, was trying to plan the perfect party.
This caused Amber to be unkind to those working around her. In frustration, she expressed aloud how the party ‘must be perfect’. This is when Baileywick, who is the Castle Steward, wisely said to her:
“You may find that when you try to make things perfect, all you do is make everyone around you perfectly miserable.”
Ouch! Of course, when we are watching a television show, we can easily see how annoying it is to be around someone acting like the character Amber in the scene. It may not be so obvious, however, when we are the ones striving for perfection.
This caused me to self-examine and reflect on times I’ve become frustrated because things were done in a way that was different than how I preferred. This could be something simple, such as how laundry is sorted, to a more serious decision like how finances are managed. I will be the first to admit, and I’m sure my husband would agree, that I have become frustrated and unpleasant when these two things were not done in a way *I* wanted them to be.
Thankfully, I have come a long way and intend to continue growing and making progress. I certainly don’t want my husband or children to experience feelings of inadequacy because of perfectionistic tendencies!
However, does this line of black and white perfectionistic thinking not even go a step further to apply to those more sensitive issues such as religion or politics? Trying to be seen as the ‘perfect Christian’, or someone who holds the only answers involving decisions for our country, can be just as hurtful to those who have different beliefs or morals. This is especially the case if these opinions are presented in a judgmental way.
Having high expectations can not only be hurtful to our own self-worth, but this can be toxic to the relationships around us. I encourage you today, friends, to examine areas in your life that may feel like conditional love or acceptance of others. After all, mistakes are one of life’s best teachers!
Can you recall a time you were either the perfectionist in a relationship or hurt by someone who was?
-- Stephanie
Photo credit: how painful it is by send me adrift via compfight
This caused Amber to be unkind to those working around her. In frustration, she expressed aloud how the party ‘must be perfect’. This is when Baileywick, who is the Castle Steward, wisely said to her:
“You may find that when you try to make things perfect, all you do is make everyone around you perfectly miserable.”
Ouch! Of course, when we are watching a television show, we can easily see how annoying it is to be around someone acting like the character Amber in the scene. It may not be so obvious, however, when we are the ones striving for perfection.
This caused me to self-examine and reflect on times I’ve become frustrated because things were done in a way that was different than how I preferred. This could be something simple, such as how laundry is sorted, to a more serious decision like how finances are managed. I will be the first to admit, and I’m sure my husband would agree, that I have become frustrated and unpleasant when these two things were not done in a way *I* wanted them to be.
Thankfully, I have come a long way and intend to continue growing and making progress. I certainly don’t want my husband or children to experience feelings of inadequacy because of perfectionistic tendencies!
However, does this line of black and white perfectionistic thinking not even go a step further to apply to those more sensitive issues such as religion or politics? Trying to be seen as the ‘perfect Christian’, or someone who holds the only answers involving decisions for our country, can be just as hurtful to those who have different beliefs or morals. This is especially the case if these opinions are presented in a judgmental way.
Having high expectations can not only be hurtful to our own self-worth, but this can be toxic to the relationships around us. I encourage you today, friends, to examine areas in your life that may feel like conditional love or acceptance of others. After all, mistakes are one of life’s best teachers!
Can you recall a time you were either the perfectionist in a relationship or hurt by someone who was?
-- Stephanie
Photo credit: how painful it is by send me adrift via compfight